Monday, April 25, 2011

Thoughts on balance and waiting

I may break.
I am so impatient,
so impatient that I ruin most things.
Myself.
I'm so impatient
That I am apathetic.
I've lost feeling
Passion.

The other day, driving down the interstate, cruise control on, mindless motion, hours of nothing.
I actually prayed for pain, or something, anything, that would awaken the passion that used to be present in my soul.
A love for others, now overshadowed by love for myself.

I want to reach beyond me, I want to love others more.

---------------------------------

I've been floating on happiness
Comfortably sprawled in its sunlight
My toes dipped gently in the water

This was an exciting place
One without difficult questions
and challenging answers
One without obsessive introspection
and self judgment

Shallow.
Now, I am longing for a season of depth.
Growth, wisdom, understanding.


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