Thoughts on balance and waiting

I may break.
I am so impatient,
so impatient that I ruin most things.
Myself.
I'm so impatient
That I am apathetic.
I've lost feeling
Passion.

The other day, driving down the interstate, cruise control on, mindless motion, hours of nothing.
I actually prayed for pain, or something, anything, that would awaken the passion that used to be present in my soul.
A love for others, now overshadowed by love for myself.

I want to reach beyond me, I want to love others more.

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I've been floating on happiness
Comfortably sprawled in its sunlight
My toes dipped gently in the water

This was an exciting place
One without difficult questions
and challenging answers
One without obsessive introspection
and self judgment

Shallow.
Now, I am longing for a season of depth.
Growth, wisdom, understanding.

Say for me "Love."

I want to get lost somewhere. I want a new adventure.

After class, I jumped in my car and picked up Steven. We ate Mexican food, and made a right turn out of the parking lot, from which we should have turned left.

"I bet if we turn up here it will get us back to campus eventually," I said.

Mumford & Sons drifted gently over the speakers beneath our conversation. Was it love or fear of the cold that led me into your arms? "That's my favorite line of this song," I said and repeated the phrase out loud.

The road that I chose began heading in an unexpected direction, and Steven noted the suspicious nature of the neighborhood. I felt the urge to just drive around -but I have so much to do.


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Now I have Living of Love by the Avett Brothers playing again and again on Grooveshark.
I packed up most of my things to take home this weekend, and my walls are almost completely bare. Almost.

There is one face that I just don't want to take down.
There's only one thing here worth hoping for... say love. Say for me "love."

Air.

The campus of Austin Peay and I are in desperate need of a prolonged break.

I just need the mountains.
And a good dose of "look on the bright side."