Monday, July 4, 2011

July 4

On a day of victory, why do I feel so defeated?
This morning I woke up feeling so far behind. Maybe I'm finally realizing what the past couple of years have cost me -what not being true to myself and not holding fast to my beliefs has cost me...
What not believing has cost me.

But what good does dwelling on these things do? Maybe there is something constructive to it, I don't know. I guess pain and remorse are sometimes necessary for real understanding. I do believe in grace and I do believe in love and forgiveness, but maybe I don't believe enough to let myself walk forward too easily.

Maybe I should. It is a brand new day, after all, and I am working. Actually, I am striving, and maybe that is the problem. Maybe it is time to rest in grace and love, to hold on hope and focus on positive things, on what I can do for others rather than myself.

 My burden is heavy, and it is time to trade it for a lighter yoke. 

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